Les Poissons (Gadget’s Sheriff of Nottingham version)
Inside the dining room, Tony was standing near the window, looking out into the distance. While Basil was seated at the large table, beginning to clean his pipe, Tony was waiting patiently for Gadget to arrive as he tried desperately to reason with the Italian-American boy mouse. "Oh, Tony, be reasonable," said Basil, feeling clearly amused while waving his pipe in the air. "Nice young ladies just don't - swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then - flutter off into oblivion, like some -" Tony cut him off. "I'm tellin' you, Basil, she was REAL!" he said, "I'm gonna find that girl. And I'm gonna marry her." He put his left hand over his chin, gazing out the glass windows. Suddenly, laughter was heard from behind him. He turned his head to see the lover with the valley girl mouse. "Come on, honey." said a voice, "Don't be shy." It was Mrs. Brisby. She stood by the door frame, guiding the lover into the dining room. Out of the shadows came Gadget. Gadget was now wearing a violet dress (similar to Jessica Rabbit's dress), lavender opera gloves, and lilac shoes. This was a new look for Gadget, and she showed that she was being treated well by the servants. Tony's eyes widened as Basil walked up behind the teenage boy mouse. "Oh, Tony, isn't she a vision?" asked Basil. The grin he had was never slipping off his face. Tony's mouth hung open. But he closed his mouth and swallowed, feeling somewhat nervous. "You look - wonderful." Tony stammered. Gadget, unable to say, "Thank you," replied with a gentle blush, she shrugged her shoulders, appreciating the nice comment, a smile on her face as her sea-green eyes looked up from behind her ears and blonde hair. Tony blushed a light pink as Basil helped Tony into his chair, quite enthusiastic, but not before giving the young princess a light nudge. Tony pursed his lips, but grinned nonetheless. "Come come come, you must be famished. Let me help you my dear. There we go - ah - quite comfy?" He helped the princess into her seat. Tony tucked the chair under the table as the American girl mouse sat down. "Uh, it's...it's not often that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh, Tony?" Gadget wasn't playing attention anymore. She was too intrigued by the glistening silver 'dinglehopper' resting on the table. With a wide smile, she picked up the shiny object and began brushing her hair with it. She looked up to face a confused Tony and a horrified Basil. Gadget delicately placed the 'dinglehopper' back on the table and looked down in embarrassment. She bit her lip and looked up as she saw Basil using a lighter to ignite the coppery thing that Gadget understood as a 'snarfblatt'. Basil kindly smiled at her, and handed her his pipe. "Uh, do you like it?" he asked, "It is a rather fine..." Basil stopped in mid-sentence when the American girl mouse blew into the pipe as if it was a trumpet, sending a cloud of smoke spurting out the top and straight into his face. Tony cracked up with laughter while Mrs. Brisby gave a small giggle. "Oh, my!" she exclaimed. Tony cleared his throat, trying to regain composure. "Ahem. I'm sorry, Basil." Mrs. Brisby smiled, placing a hand on the Italian-American boy mouse's shoulder. "Why, Tony," she said. "That's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks." Gadget looked up from the table and smiled. "Oh, very amusing," said Basil, as he used a handkerchief to wipe the last bit of smoke of his face and sniffed. "Elizabeth, my dear, what's for dinner?" "Oooh, you're gonna love it!" Mrs. Brisby smiled. "Chef's been fixing his specialty, stuffed meerkat!" Timon poked his head out from behind a sugar bowl and gasped upon seeing the chef of a French kitchen. He was an obese gray wolf. He wears red sheriff clothing, crimson shoes, puffy sleeves with magenta stripes, a gold star badge, a gold medallion, a white chef's hat, and a matching apron. He was the Sheriff of Nottingham, the French chef of the kitchen. The Sheriff rummaged through a cupboard. Singing in French to himself, he hummed to himself as he took a basket of trout and putting one on a counter. With his food ready, the fat wolf chef started singing. Sheriff: Les poissons Les poissons How I love '''les poissons' ''Love to chop And to serve little fish Grabbing the trout from the basket, the Sheriff pulled out a cleaver and violently chopped off its head. This shocked Timon horribly. Horrified that this was happening, Timon hid his face. Sheriff: First I cut off their heads Then I pull out the bones Ah mais oui Ca c'est toujours delish Taking out another trout, Sheriff took the cleaver and violently chopped off its head then proceeded to skin it and gut it while Timon leaned against a wall and covered his mouth, feeling quite sick, feeling as if he may want to throw up. Sheriff: Les poissons Les poissons Hee hee hee Hah hah hah With the cleaver I hack them in two Taking out another trout, the Sheriff again chopped its head and then chopped the rest of the body into tiny pieces. Timon tried getting away, but he found himself face to face with the trout's head. Sheriff: I pull out what's inside And I serve it up fried Cause I love little fishes'' Don't you? After cutting the trout's head off, the Sheriff pulled out the insides of the trout and cooked it on a frying pan before serving it on a plate. Spotting a large lettuce leaf, Timon grabbed the leaf and used it to disguise himself as he slowly scuttled away from an unsuspecting chef, who is too absorbed into his little fish hacking mania but the Sheriff took a mallet and began smashing a tuna flat. Sheriff: Here's something for tempting the palate Prepared in the classic technique First you pound the fish flat with a mallet When the Sheriff pounded the tuna flat with the mallet, Timon flew off the counter along with other stuff on it. He hid again under the lettuce before hearing more gross stuff from the Sheriff's preparations for the tuna. Sheriff: Then you slash through the skin Give the belly a slice Then you rub some salt in 'Cause that makes it taste nice When the Sheriff was describing those horrid moves, Timon cringed even more. Just after the Sheriff put the salt on he rather was holding the fish body close to his cheek, Timon worst fear was confirmed when the cook reached out and grabbed the lettuce leaf, leaving him exposed. The small meerkat kept perfectly still as the chef gasped, "Zut alors!" exclaimed the Sheriff, "I have missed one!" He picked up the 'dead' meerkat and continued singing, Sheriff: ''Sacre bleu'' What is this? How on earth could I miss Such a sweet little succulent meerkat? ''Quel dommage'' What a loss Here we go In the sauce Now some flour I think just a spurt The Sheriff tossed Timon into a bowl of sauce and threw a spot of flour in his face, making him cough and sneeze before pulling him out and stuffing some breadcrumbs in his mouth. Sheriff: Now I stuff you with bread It don't hurt 'cause you're dead And you're certainly lucky you are Timon spat out the breadcrumbs and wheezed loudly. The Sheriff didn't notice that the meerkat in his hand was still alive. Sheriff: 'Cause it's gonna be hot In my big silver pot Toodle loo ''Mon poisson'' ''Au revoir!''' The Sheriff threw Timon across the room into a large pot of boiling water. Timon held on to the inside of the pot before a bubble popped, burning him out of the pot and onto the counter with a loud thud. The Sheriff, hearing the 'thud', looked over to it being confused. He used a pitchfork-like utensil and stabs on either side of the meerkat, picking up Timon and carefully inspected it. "What is this?" he asked. Timon bit the Sheriff's nose, making him scream in pain as he held his nose. Timon landed on the handle of a pan on the stove. The Sheriff reached for the meerkat, but instead put his hand on the fiery hot stove. The chef screamed and blew on his hand as the pan fell onto his foot. The Sheriff grabbed his foot and cried in pain, before sending Timon an angry glare, grabbing a bunch of knives and hurling them at the meerkat. Timon, who ducked each knife, dove under the counter, and while the chef was looking under the counter, Timon pushed the bowl of sauce off the counter. The bowl shattered on his head. Going more insane, the Sheriff lifted his cleaver and brought it down. But all he managed to chop up was the counter. He saw Timon running for his life. Timon screamed as he tried getting out. The cleaver landed right in front of him, stopping him from running that way. He quickly made a mad dash underneath the Sheriff and hid underneath a cabinet of glasses and pottery. The Sheriff screamed, holding his mallet in his hand, Timon hid as the psychotic chef jumped and crashed into the shelves. Back in the dining room, everyone heard loud crashes coming from the kitchen. Mrs. Brisby, who was pouring drinks for the prince, Basil, and their young guest, looked in the direction of the kitchen at the sound of a large crash. "I think I'd better go see what the Sheriff of Nottingham is up to." she said. Once she had excused herself, she hurriedly made her way to the palace kitchen. Back in the kitchen, the insane chef, ripped clothes and all, was tearing apart the cabinet, mindlessly throwing things out of the way trying to find Timon. "Come out, you little pipsqueak, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" he snarled. He continued to tear apart a cupboard. "Sheriff!" shouted Mrs. Brisby. He shot up, banging his head on the shelf, causing several new pots and pans to fall or break on the floor, at the sound of Mrs. Brisby's shrill voice. His clothes and apron were torn and stained, his chef's hat, star badge, and medallion were gone, he only had one shoe, and there was a hole in the elbow of his uniform. "What are you doing?" Mrs. Brisby demanded. The Sheriff stammered about what he was doing earlier. "Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, ''madame." he finally said. Mrs. Brisby scowled at the fat wolf as he gave her an apologetic grin and pinched out a fire that had started on his furry cheek. Mrs. Brisby picked up the plates - which all had a metal dome over the top - off a nearby bench, and storming out the kitchen. "Well, I never!" she exclaimed in disgust. Basil set his glass back on the table as Mrs. Brisby placed their dinners in front of him, Gadget, and Tony. "You know, Tony," he said. "perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Tony simply sat there, staring at Gadget with a lovestruck expression on his face. Realizing that Basil had said something to them, they snapped out of their daze. Tony let out a small chuckle and looked at Basil. "I'm sorry, Basil." he said, "What was that?" Basil leaned over to the male Italian boy mouse and whispered, "You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life. Get your mind off-" As Basil complained, he opened his dish, and Timon was huddled inside. Gadget noticed Timon and became worried. Timon quietly shushed the worried female rescue ranger, who opened her dish and urged for Timon to quickly hide in hers. "Easy, Basil, easy." said Tony, "It's not a bad idea. If she's interested." As the two chatted, Timon quickly and quietly dashed across the table and hid in Gadget's dish. With Timon safe, Gadget quickly turned to Tony. "Well, what do you say?" asked Tony. "Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?" Gadget nodded, genuinely excited by the prospect and also internally relieved. "Wonderful!" beamed Basil. "Now let's eat, before this meerkat wanders off my plate." He looked down, only to be confused that Timon had just run off his plate. Dinner got carried on into the evening long after the sun had set and afterwards, Gadget, Tony, and Basil went their separate ways. Gadget was now dressed in her nightclothes as she watched Tony play with Ray from the balcony. Gadget was now wearing a ankle-length, spaghetti strap lavender nightgown, and a matching sleeping mask. "Come here boy!" Tony laughed to Ray, "Arrr!!!" He knelt on the ground and Ray flew up to him and called, "Here I come, Tony!" Tony growled playfully at the firefly as he pinned him down. He looked up and smiled when he saw that the female rescue ranger he'd found on the beach that day, watching. Tony waved at Gadget, and she waved back, before slipping further back into her room. Tony’s eyes sparkled as his smile widened. He was actually really looking forward to taking her around his kingdom tomorrow, and could only hope that she felt the same way. Gadget smiled as she brushed her hair with her fork. Timon complained about his experience in the kitchen as he cleaned off the cooking spices. "This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life." he complained. Gadget patted Timon on the head. "I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady!" scolded the meerkat, as he waved his lettuce leaf at Gadget while she walked over to her bed. Gadget's bed was a large canopy bed with lavender mattresses & matching bedsheets & pillows, large pale purple curtains (with golden draw-tassels) on all four sides (attached to the pale purple canopy), purple blankets, white linens, a warm, fuzzy violet blanket, & lilac mahogany bedposts (with a headboard of the same color & material). Anyway, Timon told Gadget, "Now, we've got to make a plan to get that Italian boy mouse to kiss you." She lowered the sleeping mask over her eyes, opened the curtains, and bounced a little before settling back into the large pillow on the left side of the canopy bed and crawled under the covers. "Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best." said Timon. Gadget lay in her bed. It was very comfy and warm. It was a nice place for her to sleep for the night. "You're gonna bat your eyes - like this," Timon went on, as he batted his eyes and puckered his lips. "You gotta pucker up your lips - like this." But by now, he realized that Gadget was already fast asleep. Timon shook his head and smiled. "Hm." He blew out the candle on the bed side table. He hopped onto one of Gadget's pillows, closed the curtains, and before falling asleep himself, he said, "You are hopeless, child. You know that?" He yawned and closed his eyes as Gadget covered him up with her violet blanket. "Completely hopeless!" And with that, Gadget and Timon both fell asleep for the night. Category:Fan Fiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmakes Category:The Little Mermaid Parodies Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmake Category:The Little Mermaid Spoofs Category:The Little Mermaid Fanfiction Category:Songs Category:Spin-offs